Sunday, April 15, 2012
Mama's Gone OFF the Reservation
1. I am an old married woman. I know this because I could not remember when the last time I was in a night club with my husband was. I believe it was before I got pregnant with my oldest son. When I was in college I went clubbing every weekend. Now I do laundry on the weekends.
2. I am married to an old guy. I am not sure how that happened because he was a young hip guy when we got married and I haven't gotten old. I know he is an old guy because he kept going outside at the club because "the music was too loud." My dad used to tell me my music was too loud. When did Agent Daddy become my dad?
3. When allowed out of the house with out my kids I will go wild. Well not really wild, but I will stay out really late, eat fried food and wear heals that are really to high for me.
4. The world has changed since I was last in a club. And not for the better. Early in the evening all the people in the club were perfectly respectable. I went to the bathroom, came out and there was a woman in the middle of the club whose clothes had all fallen off. I am sure that had fallen off because surely no one would go to a night club dressed in a string bikini and thigh high leather boots..right? The Tech Monkey refers to the Boots as "Whore Boots" maybe he knows something I don't.
5. Drinks are expensive. When I was going to the clubs as a single girl a mixed top shelf drink was $8. Now well drinks are $15. Now that wouldn't bother me so much but back in the day I would get my drinks for free from all of the generous old guys trying to pick up a young chick. Now I am married to the old guy and he frowns on me flirting for my drinks while he watches.
6. I need my beauty rest. Back in the day I would go clubbing till the cows came home and sleep for an hour then go to work. Now I need 5 hours of sleep and a three hour beauty nap the next day or I am a zombie. Being a zombie wouldn't be so bad except that Agent Daddy is addicted to "The Walking Dead" and I am afraid he might shoot me in the head to save the children.
Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation and America's Baby Cancer Foundation. The final thing I learned is that the toughest guys love their kids and have the biggest hearts. Rich Evans Donated an $85,000 custom Mustang to benefit these two wonderful organizations. I was truly impressed by his kindness and humility.