It's MY Complusion and I LIKE IT!

I am a control FREAK. I am clear about this. I have even learned to recognize when I am being irrationally controlling and apologize for my compulsion. This apology does not include wanting to stop being controlling. I am convinced that if I do not check on every little thing, multiple times that disaster will strike and I will be completely unprepared for it. This is despite the fact that I have before hand prepared for every disaster I can think of.
Example number one My Car:
I have a first aid kit, glasses repair kit, tire repair kit, four phone chargers ( two of which are for phones I no longer own but someone might need.), and a blanket in case we get caught in a snow storm ( Did I mention I live in SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA?). I should probably mention here that my first aid kit includes almost every kind of over the counter medication that you can buy, sunscreen and a stitch kit. I am not licensed to do stitches on a human but if we need them I have them.

Example number two Packing:

It  does not matter that we are going to Las Vegas in the middle of summer, I insist that everyone pack one hoodie in the event that the weather "changes". I don't care the the forecast is 120 at night you NEED a hoodie. And pack three extra pair of underwear. I am not sure when I decided that three was the "magic" number but even if we are only going for two days we MUST pack three extra pair of underwear each. I must pack two extra pair of socks for each person even though the boys and Mike ALL wear the same size underwear and socks they must each have their own extras. Here is the math, four people for two day we must have 20 pairs of underwear and sixteen pair of socks. I know logically that we will NEVER need or use all of this  but I get jittery if I know that we are short on packing the extra's. I think that Agent Daddy and the boys have started packing for me to check and then re packing when I am not looking. The first time they run out of underwear I will be ready to tell them I told you so.

Example number Three Shopping:

I have an almost pathological need to over buy. I do not like to over spend but if I know I need to buy underwear for example, I can never just buy seven. One for each day. NO I have to buy ten. My logic being that I might have an accident on Friday AND Saturday and then where would I be? NO underwear because I haven't done next weeks laundry. I can not buy seven pairs of socks or seven shirts. All of these things must be bought in groups of ten. I also try to figure out how many of a food item we will need then always end up doubling that number "just in case". The worst example of my overbuying was when I was getting ready for my honeymoon. I went to the drug store to buy condoms. Condoms came in packs of three, twelve and twenty four. I bought forty- eight. Yes, you read right 48. Why? Here is my psyhco math. We were going to be gone for eight days. So three is too little. We might want to have sex more than once a day so twelve is too few as well. So I decided on the twenty four pack. But as I was going to the counter to pay I became afraid that that too was somehow too few so I bought two boxes instead of one. My maid of honor looked at the fourty eight condoms I was packing the night before my wedding and exclaimed "Either Agent Hotty ( that was his name back then) is superman or you really need to rethink your expectations."

I am aware that this behavior is not normal. But the truth is that I have no desire to change. I just tell people " I know that I am acting crazy, just let me do it anyway." Agent Daddy is probably a saint for putting up with me. the good news is he will never run out of underwear on my watch.

The Time Share Pet.

 I am the first one to admit that when it comes to pets I have become FREAKISHLY lazy. I considered getting a tortoise just because they hibernate. I mean what could be better for the lazy person than a pet who lives in a box in the garage six months out of the year? Agetn daddy and I weren't always lazy. We just got worn out. We had two dachshunds when we first got married. One passed away and the firt one was lonely so then we got another one. Then the first one passed away and we were left with Methuselah I mean Oliver. Oliver was a rescue dachshund that ended up living to the rip old age of 21. Well at least as near as the vet could figure he was between 19-21 years old. IN PEOPLE YEARS!!! This dog would not DIE! So when the dog reached 15 we sat the boys down and told them about how Oliver was getting old, and that he would go to heaven soon like our other dog and that they shouldn't be sad for him because all dogs go to heaven BLAH BLAH BLAH.  And when he passes we will get a fish and call him FINRA. Long Story. Don't ask. The darn dog lived for FIVE more years. So for five years our kids went around the neighbor hood and school telling everyone how our dog was really old and when he died we were getting a fish. I swear I STILL,  have people come up to me and ask if we have gotten a fish yet.

Anyway, Oliver and my grandfather chose the same day to pass way, and the kids start telling people "Oliver and Great Grandpa died and now we can get a fish." It sounds horrible and led to me having to explain the WHOLE long story to virtual strangers in the line at Walmart. And then I didn't get them a fish. Why didn't I get them a fish? Well Agent Daddy and I had a pow wow and decided that we would get the boys some virtual fish on Facebook first to see if they could keep fake fish alive or if they would lose interest in like two weeks. Long story short the boys killed the virtual fish and we DID NOT buy a real one.

Now, I told you all  that story so that I could tell you the story of my Freakishly lazy, time share dog ownership. You see we have this AMAZING yellow lab named Tahoe. But we only have him from 2-3 weeks a year. How is that possible? Well he is really my Aunt and Uncles dog. My Uncle who is retired take the dog EVERYWHERE with him except vacation. The dog cannot be kenneled because he gets separation anxiety, enter our timeshare ownership. Tahoe loves  the boys, they love Tahoe, and once a year my Aunt and Uncle go on vacation and we have a dog. They have trained the dog, they pay his vet bills, and I get to enjoy his soft fur and sweet kisses once a year. It is the PERFECT solution to my lazyness. "Mom can we get a dog?"
"No, Tahoe would be sad if you loved another dog."
See how this works out well for me? About the time that the boys have gotten board of walking, feeding and cleaning up after the dog it is time for the Tahoe to go home. Then time goes by and it is either time for us to go visit Tahoe or for Tahoe to come stay with us again. I am hoping that Tahoe lives to be like 21 too. This way the boys will be in college or living on their own and I will have avoided full time pet ownership for like 13 years.

And that is what I call GENIUS.

Twenty Questions (Only)

For those of you who are curious, you've got twenty questions only. Today I will let myself fall victim to your curiosity.  Don't be shy... cuz I'm not.

Let the games begin!

It's Not What it Looks Like....

After being stuck in bed with an upper respiratory infection for the last 5 days, I have learned a few things. First , I am married to the GREATEST Guy on earth. Well actually I already knew that but I was reminded of it when I told Agent Daddy the results of my Doctor visit and he didn't say " Well there goes my weekend." He was glad to hear that I was in fact not dying as I had been saying for over a week. Yes I was sick for over a week and I did not go to the Doctor right away. Why? You may ask. Hell if I know. I am as bad as a man when it comes to going to the Doctor. I really am always sure that I can "cure" myself with home remedies. I am right about half the time.

This was supposed to be a four day weekend for Agent Daddy and instead it was four days of laundry, kids, cooking and taking care of the sick. Did he complain? Not once. But I discovered some of Agent Daddy's secret guilty pleasures. He makes fun of me ALL the time for the Ho Ho's of the Chi Chi Paw and Jersey Whore,but Agent Daddy watches Cheaters. And he doesn't watch the whole thing, he just fast forwards to the fights. He gets his guilty pleasure from watching guys with their pants around their ankles jump up and say " It's not what you're thinking!" He finds it hysterical that with out fail it is CLEARLY "what you are thinking" but the idiot that is caught is sure he can talk his/her way out of it. I didn't realize that Agent Daddy watched this was such regularity after I had fallen  asleep. But when you can't breathe you tend to be up at odd hours. I also discovered that he LOVES The Walking Dead. I am not sure why zombies are so interesting to him but his love of this show explains why he keeps saying things like "we might need that for the zombie apocalypse.' I thought he was kidding, now I am not so sure.

I also discovered that if something is crashing or exploding TV, Airborne will somehow know and arrive in front of that TV within seconds of said crash or explosion. I was using this instead of a bell to call for help. Did I mention that I couldn't talk with out having a coughing fit. So I was silent Susan as well as being stuck in bed. One afternoon I was lonely so I turned on "Wacko's Behind the Wheel 4" and Airborne wandered in to watch with me. Strangely enough, Agent Daddy came in about 10 minutes into the show. He watches for like 30 seconds as says"Don't even think about it." Speaking to Airborne. Airborne replies with out missing a beat " Too Late." I haven't broken the news yet to Agent Daddy that Airborne has a psychic connection to mayhem.

The things you discover when you are sick ans stuck in bed are many. I would venture to say that most of them are BAD.

Beauty is in the iPhone of the Beholder.

            In this day and age of smart phones, everyone is getting more and more tech savvy.  Even me and my fellow fashionista/o’s.  This week as fashion week comes to an end, I wanted to compile a list of smart phone apps and some websites (please check what platforms they are offered on, although all of these apps are available on the iPhone and iPad).  I have overloaded my phone on fashion apps, and I’m extremely addicted, whether it’s using it as a resource or acquiring a lovely new piece for my personal wardrobe, I find them extremely useful!  So check them out below and enjoy!

Haute Look:  This is kind of like an overstock.com but a high-end version.  Every day at 8am they open up new items from new brands for you to purchase, on a first come first serve basis.  They offer men’s, women’s and children’s apparel as well as home and office furnishings.  Definitely an app to have if you’re an avid online shopper like myself.

Vogue Stylist:  This app updates daily on new style trends and interesting articles on fashion.  Not super in-depth but definitely a great app to have to look over when you’re stuck in line at the grocery store or have some downtime.  Great for the mom who wants to get her daily does of fashion trends and stories.

MADE Fashion:  This gives you a live access to all the collections for fashion week this year.  It is absolutely an amazing app, a must have for fashion addicted moms! Behind the scene looks and photos for you to take advantage of, and get your fill of next year’s fall fashion.

Pinterest:  I’m sure many of you are familiar with Pinterest already as it has gained huge momentum the past couple of weeks.  Now, although it’s not fashion focused, you can actually construct “boards” that are fashion oriented.  Maybe a bored on “My Style” or “My Ideal Home Décor” and use these boards to create an online database of things that you like, want to emulate or recreate.

ReQoop:  Have you ever been at a store and thought, “I absolutely love that top but just don’t have the time to try it on, I’ll come back” and then got home and realized that you couldn’t remember what store it was.  This app solves everything.  You can actually snap an image of the item that you like and file it under the store that you found it at.  This app then stores it for future reference, you can basically create a online “to buy” catalog of things that you loved but didn’t have time to try on.

Poshmark:  This app allows you to sell gently worn clothes via your phone.  You snap a picture store the image with the price and you’re good to go.  You can host virtual meetings and “shopping parties” where you can get a group together and work yourself into a clothes swapping frenzy!

Well moms, I hope that you enjoyed this article and have already started downloading some of these amazing apps!  Have a great day Fashion Friday and good weekend.  And remember, stay fabulous!

 Brandon Sapin

The Man Code

For those of you who wonder...


1. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever! Unless you actually marry her.


2. When questioned by a friend's girlfriend, you need not and should not provide any information as to his whereabouts. You are even permitted to deny his very existence.


3. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 24 hours.


4. A best man's toast may not include any of the following phrases, "down in Tijuana", "one time when we were all piss drunk", or "and this girl had the biggest rack you ever saw".


5. You may exaggerate any anecdote told to your friends by 50% without recrimination, beyond that anyone within earshot is allowed to yell out "bullshit!". (exception: when trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration is 400%)


6. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.


7. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another man is 5 minutes. The maximum is 6 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.


8. Bitching about the brand of free beverages in your buddy's refrigerator is forbidden. But gripe at will if the temperature is not suitable.


9. A friend must be permitted to borrow anything you own - grill, car, firstborn child - within 12 hr notice. Women or anything considered "lucky" are not applicable in this case.


10. Falling on a grenade for a buddy (agreeing to distract the skanky friend of the hot babe he's trying to score) is your legal duty. But should you get carried away with your good deed and end up getting on the beast, your pal is forbidden to ever speak of it.


11. Do not torpedo single friends.


12. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.


13. Before dating a buddy's ex you are required to ask his permission. If he grants it, he is however allowed to say, "man, your gonna love the way she licks your balls"


14. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a Buffalo wing clean.


15. If a mans zipper is down, that’s his problem, you didn’t see anything!


16. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. (in fact, even remembering your best friends birthday is optional)


17. You must offer heartfelt condolences over the death of a girlfriends cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan.


18. While your girlfriend must bond with your buddies girlfriends with in 30 minutes of meeting them, you are not required to make nice with her gal pal's boyfriends- low level sports bonding is all the law requires.


19. Unless you have a lucrative endorsement contract, do not appear in public wearing more than one Nike swoosh.


20. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.


21. If your girlfriend asks to set your friend up with her ugly, whiny, loser friend of hers, you must grant permission, but only if you have ample time to warn your friend to prepare his excuse about joining the priesthood.


22. Only in a situation of mortal danger or ass peril are you permitted to kick another member of the male species in the testicles.


23. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked. This includes men who aren't wearing shirts. If your buddy is outnumbered outmanned, or too drunk to defend himself, you must jump into the fight. Exception: if during the past 24 hours your friends actions have caused you to think "what this guy needs is a good ass wuppin", in which case you may refrain from getting involved and stand back and enjoy.


24. Friends don’t let friends wear speedos. Ever. Case closed.


25. Fives must be called at all times when getting out of your seat. If not, your seat is up for grabs. However, "house rules" may come into effect, in which case it is left up to the owner of the seat.


26. Shotgun can be called on anything where a shotgun applies., as long as you are in eyesight of the object, or it is at a reasonable time.


27. When picking players for sports teams it is permissible to skip over your buddy in favor of better athletes- as long as you don’t let him be the last sorry son of a bitch standing on the sideline.


28. If you ever compliment a guy's six pack, you better be talking about his choice of beverage.


29. Never join your girlfriend in ragging on a buddy of yours, unless she is withholding sex, pending your response.


30. Phrases that may never be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
"Yeah, baby, push it!"
"Come on, give me one more, harder!
"Another set and we can hit the showers"
"Nice ass! Are you a Sagittarius?"


31. Never hesitate to reach for the last beverage or pizza, but not both. That’s just mean.


32. Never talk to another man in the bathroom unless you are on equal footing: both urinating, both waiting in line for all other situations an "I recognize you" nod will do just fine.


33. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch nearby, hang up if necessary.


34. You can not rat out a friend who show's up to work or class with a massive hangover, however you may: hide the aspirin, smear his chair with limburger cheese, turn the brightness on his computer way up so he thinks its broken, or have him paged every seven minutes.


35. If you catch your girl messing around with your best friend, let your states crime of passion laws be your guide.


36. If your buddy is trying to hook up with a girl, you may sabotage him only in a manor that gives you no chances of getting any either.


37. Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he can get up on his feet, look you in the eye, and deliver a "fuck off" then you are absolved from all responsibility. Later on it is ok that you have no idea what his girlfriend is talking about.


38. The morning after you and a babe, who was formerly "just a friend", go at it, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to jump on her again before there is a discussion about what a big mistake it was.


39. If a buddy has lint, an eyelash, or any other foreign object on his hair or face, under no circumstances are you permitted to remove it. However an appropriate hand gesture may be made to make him aware of it.


40. An anniversary is recognized on a yearly basis, under no circumstances will anything be celebrated in an interval other than a year.


41. When using a urinal in a public restroom, a buffer zone of at least one urinal will exist at all times. If the only empty urinal is directly next to an occupied on, then you are still required to wait. (Exception: at a sporting event where a line has formed to use the pisser)


42. When coming to a room which you know is occupied by your friend and possibly another girl, you must knock and wait for an adequate response. If no response occurs, and the door is locked, a 10 minute period is required before knocking again.


43. The only time dicking over a buddy for a girl is legal, is when the girl ranks a 8 or above on the 1-10 scale. (exception: a girl may rank from 5-7, as long as there is oral sex involved).


44. A mans gotta scratch what a mans gotta scratch. This applies to picking as well. Let the man be.


45. No man shall ever watch any of the following programs on TV:
Figure skating
Men's gymnastics
Any sport involving women (unless viewed for sexual purposes)


46. If you accidentally touch or brush against any part of another man below the waist, it is an understood accident, and NO apologies or any reference to the occurrence is necessary.


47. No man shall spend more than 2 minutes in front of a mirror. If more time is required, a three minute waiting period must be allowed before returning to the mirror.
48. Any dispute lasting any longer than 3 minutes will and must be settled by rock, paper, scissors. There is no argument too important for this determining method.


49. No man will ever willingly watch a movie in which the main theme is dancing, and if a man shall happen to view such a movie it is only acceptable if its with a girlfriend.


50. Only acceptable time when a man is allowed to cry:
when a heroic dog dies to save his master.
after being struck in the testicles with anything moving fast than 7 mph.
When your date is using her teeth.
The day Anna Kornikova chooses a husband.


51. If a bet is made, and the challenge is completed, then the bettor may recoup his money by immediately completing a more daring challenge. If he refuses the challenge or chooses not to propose one, then and only then, must the money be paid.


52. Masturbate often. (exception: if your roommate is due back within the hour)


53. If a hot girl shall happen to pass by while you are in an arms reach of your buddy, you must, and will, tap him on the shoulder to make him aware of the babe.


54. A man's shoes may not intentionally match any other article of clothing on his body.


55. No comment shall ever be made to a man about how much he is sweating. In fact, there is no need bring notice to any body part which he may be sweating from.


56. No man shall ever allow anyone to speak ill of The Simpsons or any Rocky movie. (Exception: Rocky V)


57. You have not made any mistake if you find that there are extra pieces after reassembling or assembling an object. In fact, you have just found a way to make that object more efficient.
58. There are is never an occasion in which any shirt without buttons may be tucked in. (Exception: when you are participating in a organized sporting event)
59. Unless you are under the age of 11 or wearing a bathing suit,, DON’T wear whitey tighty's. It still escapes all reasoning as to why they even make them in adult sizes.


60. Any object thrown with reasonable speed and accuracy, MUST be caught.


61. No man shall ever keep track of, or count, the amount of beers he has had in a night.


62. Under no circumstances may two non-related men share a bed or anything which can be perceived as a mattress.


63. In an empty room, car, ect., a man can not ask another man if he is mad because he isn’t talking.


64. If you jiggle more than twice, your playing with it.


65. A man shall never help another man apply sun tan oil.


66. The guy who wants something the most is responsible for getting it.


67. If your friend says "Lick my nuts" as a way to put you down, don't try to be funny by saying "OK" and moving your head towards his crotch, two homosexual references in a row are just plain scary...


68. If you say ouch, you are a pussy!

69. It is the God given duty of every man to assist any other man that may be in need of assistance in obtaining every guys dream (threesome with two girls)

* with every set of laws, there are appropriate punishments. If any man shall happen to break any one of these codes, he will be found guilty, and will, for 24 hours from the time of the violation, be considered NOT A MAN. During this time he will not be referred to in any masculine way, and he shall bear the name Princess. 

Original from Maxim Magazine but has been refined and added to over time

http://www.liquorwits.com/code.html

Who Doesn't Want a little VD in Their lives?

When Agent Daddy and I met we were young and HOT. We fell madly in love and got married and we were still pretty HOT. We did romantic things for Valentines Day. We had romantic getaways. We were a smoking couple. Then we made the mistake that all parents make...we had children. It is unbelievably hard to be HOT when you have had 3 hours of sleep in 3 days. No one wants to be romantic when you have barf on your shirt or baby poo on your pants.  And then comes Valentines Day, or as I like to call it VD. When the kids were first born we still tried to have that romantic dinner. Of course when you have a screaming baby or your boobs are leaking cause its feeding time, the romantic kinda fadesaway. We tried baby sitters and taking the kids with us and then we gave up. Romance is when ever we can escape our children. We don't plan for a specific day, we grab the moments when no one is looking. This past year we celebrated Agent Daddy's Birthday and our Anniversary by attending Agent Daddy's Union conference in Laughlin. Of course Agent Daddy decided to walk into a door the the day we were supposed to leave for our romantic get away so mostly Agent Daddy laid on the bed with an ice pack and I laid by the pool with a martini.

A few years Ago, we had planned to have a romantic VD and Agent Daddy's Father Died two weeks before the date. The last three years we have spent VD with his weeping mother who is still mourning the loss of her husband. A few years before that we were going to get ways for our 15th wedding anniversary and his Father had a stroke. So planning romance is something that Agent Daddy and I have stopped doing. We haven't stopped being romantic we have just stopped trying to PLAN to be romantic. Sometimes romance happens when the kids are in school and Agent Daddy is off work. That is our plan for this VD. Once in a while the kids will go with their friends for the day leaving Agent Daddy and I alone with nothing to do. HA!

So what ever you do to have a little romance in your life remember there will always be a VD next year for you. So don't stress out trying to make this one perfect. Perfect is for when you are old and you look back on your life with rose colored goggles.

It's In The Bag

            So I realized I have written many advice articles on how to find the right dress, whether it is for a special occasion or just for your body type.  And I speak an awful lot about accessories for special occasions.  Well, Valentine’s Day is coming up, which I consider to be a very special occasion.  Many women will be running around finding the right dress, shoes and accessories for that special night. 

For dresses, I know you can reference all the material I’ve wrote about in the past, but I figured you’ll probably want to looks your best for V-day, so trade out that mommy bag and get your hands on that clutch!  Below I’ll list several of my favorite styles of clutches for your day of love as well as a guide line to shrink your emergency bag into clutch form to take care of any miss haps that might occur!

Wristlet:  A wristlet is great because it’s a clutch that has a loop that you can easily slip on to your wrist.  It makes it the perfect clutch to go dancing with.  You never really have to worry about holding it all the time because it dangles daintily on your wrist.

Envelope Clutch:  Constructed to the appearance of a paper envelope with a flap and sleek slim shape.  Sometimes this style has a thick band in the back that allows you to slip your hand through to make it easier to grip the clutch.  This is a great piece for the theater, a romantic dinner or cocktail event.

Minaudiere: Typically an evening clutch with a hard shell, usually adorned.  The great thing about this is it’s traditionally wider then all the other clutches and can often come with a small matching chain that can be tucked into the case itself when not being used on the shoulder.

Case:  I consider the case to be a cross between a basic frame clutch and a Minaudiere.  I like this clutch because you can fit more in it as opposed to the Minaudiere but still have the firmness and security of not having anything fall out.  This clutch is typically adorned.

What to bring:

            -Basics: Cell phone, ID any necessary cards.

            -Lip gloss: of course to reapply between courses.

            -Oil Blotter:   when it’s too crowded in one room and you start to get shiny, you’ll thank me.

            -2 safety pins and some double stick individuals.  You just never know!

Now, you’ll have a great clutch to go with your amazing Valentine’s day look.  Hope you All have an amazing one!  And remember, stay fabulous!!!

And Now for Something Completely Different

Since Adam has been deluged with death and has been real down lately I thought I would cheer everyone up with some funny newspaper articles. Please enjoy!

Sudden Death of Friends Syndrome

Well I can say that I have had my share of mishaps, including injury, illness, Granny and on top of it all, a bad case of "sudden death of friends syndrome", over the last thirty days. Whew! What's next?

First of all, I'd like to give a shout out to my good friend Kymberly Byer. 

Kymberly Byer (Middle)

I'm gonna miss you girl. You've joined the many of my friends who's lives were cut short in this recent death trend.  Kym  apparently died of alcohol abuse related health issues, the day after the paddle out for Scotty (Surfer/friend in my last post) Kym lived either below me, next door or around the corner from me for the last couple of decades, at least. A sweetheart, a doll and an all around caring loving human being... that loved to drink.  RIP SWEETIE!

Which leads me into another recent alcohol related death in the neighborhood...

Mark David Allen or MA, was a unique individual who also loved to drink. I'm sure it was more of a "had to drink" situation with him. but MA was notably Newport Beach' #1 drunk.

The film debut was in 09 so 450 was long agao

Over the decades as well, there were many morning surf checks, afternoon coffee runs and even a periodic evening that I was graced with MA's presence. lol  I would listen to a slightly entertaining rant or rave that included "I just got out of jail". I'd slip him a five spot, or at least some spare change, roll him a smoke and be on my way.

Below is a recent piece from the Newport Beach Daily Pilot regarding Marks death... and life.

But before ya do... Check out the trailers for the film.

A sobering last call for alcoholic

After 520 local arrests and a documentary about his battle with the bottle, Mark David Allen, 50, 'lived and died so that others could live and learn.'

The numbers are mind-boggling.

About 520 arrests in Newport Beach. At least 277 cases filed against him by prosecutors in Orange County. Plus an unknown amount in Hawaii, Los Angeles or any of the other places he landed after a stint in jail or rehab.

But the number that's most important to those who knew Mark David Allen, or felt they knew him, is somewhere in the thousands.

That's how many lives Allen touched through his documented story of a decades-long battle with alcoholism.

He died Wednesday at 50 years old. He was found lying face down in the street near 43rd Street and Seashore Drive about 5 a.m. His cause of death was inconclusive following an autopsy, so the county coroner will perform a toxicology screening. Results are expected in six to eight weeks.

His death was expected but surprising at the same time, said Newport Beach Police Custody Officer David J. Sperling. For more than 10 years, Sperling has recorded Allen's frequent — sometimes twice-daily — visits into the city jail. He recorded Allen's 500th arrest last summer.

Sperling got Allen's permission to film him and create a movie out of it years ago, and has kept in touch with Allen ever since. "Drunk in Public" has won awards at film festivals across the country.

Allen's death spread like wildfire across the recovery community, particularly those who were moved by his struggles shown in "Drunk in Public."

"I was in my office when I heard," said Kelly Borski, a chemical dependency counselor in Houston. "I had to take a couple of minutes. I could believe it because it was expected, but I couldn't believe it. He's gone. He's lost to alcoholism."

In Sperling's film, Allen's addiction to alcohol changes him from a tan, handsome Southern California surfer with sun-bleached hair in his 20s to a swollen, unshaven homeless man who speaks nonsensically between singing classic rock and reggae songs.

Alcohol poisoned his memory, and sometimes he couldn't remember Sperling's name even though the part-time filmmaker would occasionally find him, bring him food and take time to catch up.

Allen was arrested for various violations, from the obvious — drunk in public — to trespassing when he violated local businesses' restraining orders.

He had stretches of sobriety in recent years, including when he was sentenced to six months in jail in March 2010.

But no matter how often Sperling, Allen's family and others tried to help him, it never worked. Allen's life was addiction personified.

"It impacts a lot of people. Obviously a lot of my clients got angry and go, 'Why doesn't he stop?'" Borski said. "What people can get out of it is it doesn't have to be them. Every time I show that film, I say to my clients, 'You're here right now. You don't have to do this if you don't want to. But you want to quit and you're here right now.'"

For a few months last year when Allen was sober, Sperling said, he seemed to have regained his memory and was cognizant. He said all the right things to make people believe he wanted to stay sober.

But Allen soon fell back into his old ways.

"I think everyone has a purpose and it may not be a glossy, Disneyfied version of someone that has a problem and everything gets better and is OK," Sperling said. "You can still put merit and purpose out of things that really, from a standard point of view, are a failure."

There are hundreds of comments on the documentary's Facebook wall mourning Allen's death and discussing the movie's effect on them or others.

One commenter wrote: "I am greatfull [sic] for this film and will use it as a substance abuse counselor as a tool to reach clients and as a recoverying [sic] alcoholic I will use it to remind myself what is at stake because this could be me."

Another person wrote: "RIP brother Mark. You lived and died so that others could live and learn. I see you getting out in Heaven's line-up and finally getting a chance to ride God's perfect waves."

Sperling said Allen's life is a cautionary tale.

"Mark brought it all to life, the whole concept of: 'If you do this, this is what's going to happen,'" he said. "With Mark you got to see the despair acted out. He's living the rock bottom and showing people it's not all it's cracked up to be."

Sperling said he is working on updating "Drunk in Public" one last time, wrapping up about a year's worth of interactions that he'll put into a conclusive version of the film.

"That's the thing," Borski said. "He might have died, but that documentary is going to be shown to people, and so he's still going to live."

joseph.serna@latimes.com

http://articles.dailypilot.com/2012-02-02/news/tn-dpt-0203-mda-20120202_1_mark-david-allen-city-jail-sperling/2

The Coolest Language Arts Teacher in Junior High

Let me start by saying I am not sure when English class became Language Arts but I do know that I do not like the change of name. It seems like we are trying to disguise the fact that English is the dominant language in America but that rant is for another blog. This blog is about how happy I am that the Tech Monkey's English teacher is in the same head space as him. This may sound strange but I know when my kid is in a class where the teacher doesn't get him and I know when the teacher does get him. I can see it in the grades he gets and I can tell when I meet with a teacher in parent teacher conference that the teacher either doesn't get him or just plain doesn't like him. So I have spent this last semester trying to get him moved from his previous teachers class to ANY other teacher. Thanks to an AWESOME vice principle we got my little Tech Monkey into honors classes and @misterwilson's class. When the class syllabus came home looking like the picture left, I knew that my Techie was in the right place.

At the risk of geeking out let me explain what seeing a QR on the syllabus meant to me. It meant that this teacher not only was a techie like my monkey but that he really wanted his students to communicate with. Here is a teacher who gives out his cell phone, Facebook,  Google +, and twitter account. If you can't contact this teacher you aren't trying. In a world that is going digital, I think having a plugged in teacher will serve these kids more than anyone can possibly imagine. The internet is changing the world as profoundly as the printing press did. And this teacher is moving at the speed of progress. He is in the head space of his kids and that makes his impact on them tremendous. As a mom I want my kids to have the best education and to be the best they can be. This guys makes me feel like he is on that path with me.

Now don't get me wrong there are plenty of other great teachers at this school, but this guy has got it going on and I just want to let people know how it is done right. So when you get a syllabus that has a QR on it what do you think?

5Star Responder

This is like onstar for your person. Even John Walsh likes it!

Check it out for your self at http://www.greatcall.com/5star_urgent_response/

Home for the weekend...

I don't have much to say.  It's been a rough couple of weeks.  I lose a friend, then I get sick, then lose another.  It's been a viscous cycle lately that has me completely numb.  

However, I did manage to go home for the weekend.

The Tude

The view 

Scott "Meato" Rask was a friend a brother and a great surfer

The Crew

The Love